This morning I stopped by Starbucks to get coffee & pastries for the family and I. As I collected the beverages my eyes caught a glimpse of a book they were featuring titled “Beautiful Boy”. I picked it up and read the subtitle, “A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction”.

I experienced an immediate rush of emotion and a flood of thoughts about my relationship with my father, who is deceased, and my relationship with own son. How can I prevent my children from suffering as my father did?

My father was addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, and many other things in his life and in the end he reaped an early death, leaving behind a broken and disillusioned family. I have experienced firsthand the destructive power of addiction, and yet it is something I personally struggle with to this day.

It seems to me that the fundamental issue here is the ability to suppress, control, or delete desires that arise which are unhealthy.

Christians call these desires “temptation”, this is a fallacious label since it suggests a “tempter”. Do you really believe there is a little devil on your shoulder tempting you to injure yourself? Christianity would also teach you that the solution to overcoming temptation is to submit the “will” or “desires” to God.

Since rejecting Christian ideology & theology I have found a renewed strength to resist injurious desires through SELF control. While I acknowledge that “submitting sinful desires to God” is a luxurious idea, there is very little if any practicality to it. Additionally this approach trains the human mind to submit the desires to an invisible being rather than to overcome them, and at the expense of sacrificing one’s intellect.

Therefore I aim to teach my children to think rationally about the decisions they make. I want them to be informed about the consequences of engaging in dangerous activity and make good decisions based on good information.

“Don’t do that or God will be angry” is a ridiculously lazy parenting style that gives children nothing more than superstitious fear of God.

As parents we should take the necessary time to explain why drugs, cigarettes, licentious sex etc etc etc are dangerous and exactly what consequences can come from that behavior. When presented with the option of engaging in such behavior they will be aware of the consequences of their actions in the here and now rather than after death.

Making the right decision becomes the logical thing to do and the alternative becomes “stupid”.

Further, if morals are founded on faith then they can be destroyed by loss of faith. Indeed there are many who are convinced that without faith in God or religion morality becomes irrelevant. These are precisely the kind of people we do not want to leave their faith, who knows what evil they would do!

Does a good parent desire that their children do the right thing only when the parent is watching or in order to please the parent, or does the good parent desire that their children do good exclusively for the purpose of being good?